Today I'm writing about something I didn't understand at all for a considerable part of my life.
Should emotions be controlled? Emotions are "energy in motion". So should we stop this motion? I am living proof that such approach is very harmful. For many years I thought that I was great at dealing with emotions. I never exploded in anger, shouted, or threw plates. I considered myself very composed. In practice, however, it turned out that years of this apparent control ended with serious skin problems, which I additionally "controlled" with the help of pharmaceuticals and various types of cosmetics.
It turns out that dealing with emotions in a healthy way is a completely different story. Emotions have to flow. The trick is not to stop their natural course, but to direct them so that they do not harm us or the environment around us. How to do this?
1. Learn to pause before reacting. I'm talking about two types of reactions here – suppression and explosion. This requires careful observation of yourself. When we do not observe, but get carried away by habits, it's difficult to make a better choice and, for example, not explode now, when our child has broken our favourite vase, but later, when we can put this energy to use. The same applies to compulsive shopping or other addictions. We observe through various, even the simplest meditation practices (before the crisis) and through reflection on our behaviour (after the crisis). Bach Flower Therapy and other types of work with the subconscious are also very helpful – especially when we see a frequently repeating pattern in our behaviour.
2. Find your own ways to process emotions. Unfortunately, this is something that is rarely, if ever, taught by our parents and schools, and I think it’s one of the basic skills that are missing in our modern society – as evidenced by the huge number of mental issues and chronic diseases. Perhaps it makes it a bit more complicated that there probably isn’t one recipe that will be perfect for absolutely everyone. Below are a few suggestions that work for me.
When it comes to anger
When it comes to sadness, it's great to cry to music that moves you (for anger I recommend metal and heavy techno). A song that you have sentiment for, or one that simply breaks your heart in half, like in my case this wonderful song
My Friend Hachiko (2009). Useful flower essences for sadness are, for example, Honeysuckle (nostalgia), Wild Rose (apathy, resignation), Gorse (despair resulting from the lack of faith in improving the situation), Sweet Chestnut (a feeling of no way out) or Mustard (a depressive state without a specific cause).
When it comes to fear, often the best way to deal with it is to simply face it, to surrender to it without running away. It often turns out that what seems most frightening to us is only so in our mind and when we face it head on, we are able to deal with it without a problem. We can also help ourselves with Bach Flowers Mimulus (fear of something specific), Aspen (fear of unknown origin, phobias) or Red Chestnut (fear for loved ones).
Finally, I will add that no emotion is actually wrong